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Wednesday, 22 June 2011

Writer Guilt?

Posted on 06:13 by Unknown


Do you ever get writer guilt? Specifically, do you ever feel guilty that you (probably) spend a huge amount of time not only writing but blogging, tweeting, fb-ing, reading in your genre, reading about writing, reading other blogs about writing ( and agenting, editing, publishing, etc.)

In a nutshell--Do you ever (assuming you're not yet paid to do all those above things) feel guilty pursuing this thing you love?

I do.

Now if you're someone who has come to writing later in life (i.e., retirement from day job, kids are grown and fully functioning adults, spouse plays 80 hours of golf/week) I would think the guilt would either be significantly less and maybe even non existent.

But what about when you're still in the middle of all that? Just starting your day job career, raising little kids, being married to someone who only wishes they had 8 free hours a week (never mind 80.) There is limited time, always. And yet, you feel driven, compelled even to still pursue this part of your life.

For me, it sometimes feels selfish. It feels selfish to have so much going on but I still always carve out time for this. It is a priority for me and sometimes (especially during the school year) that means getting up at 4 in order to make sure it happens.

Still, I don't put writing first. When the kids are up, regardless of where I am, the computer closes. I try to make sure I spend some time talking or watching a movie with the Husband at least a few nights a week. It's never perfect but what balancing act is? You lean a bit this way and then, oh, agent sent revision notes, so you lean back and over the other way. Daughter is sick and wants her mom and you shift your weight back to the other side. Always the balance and you do your best to stay on the rope.

But here's the thing. One day, I picked my kids up from school and my daughter came running out of the building beaming. She asked me, "Mom how many books have you written?"

"I'm working on my third."

"I told my class today that you have three jobs, you're a school psychologist, a mom and a writer. Can I have three jobs when I grow up?"

"Absolutely. And if you're lucky like me, none of them will feel like jobs (well, sometimes they will but you can't say that to a 2nd grader.) You'll be happy to do all three as much as you can." 

But still, I do have guilt.
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