MIddle March

My tulips are poking up.

Is it just me, or does everyone get overwhelmed in March? Every year it feels like this incredible, collective build up. Like everyone is beginning to panic just a tiny bit right before the climax of something. It seems to me that it happens every year and every year I feel stuck, unsure what all the build up is for.

I work in a school so it could be spring break, CSAP (Colorado's standardized tests), or the fact that there are only 50 instructional days left in the year and we all feel like we haven't done enough.

But I get the sense that non school people get just as worked up (maybe not you specifically, maybe you're completely zen and if so I'll take two of whatever you're having.)

Is it spring? Or impending spring? Are we just sick, sick, sick of brown grass and cloudy skies? The sound of scraping frost off the windshields first thing in the morning?

Kids who are stuck with only getting indoor recess?! Okay that's completely just me and any other adult that works in elementary education.

I went shopping last night and saw that the big switch had happened. There were bathing suits, shorts and flip flops for as far as the eye could see. After fingering some of the brightly colored spandex, I buttoned up my winter coat and trudged back out into the frozen night air.

It is also, completely and totally that I'm functioning full time in my left brain right now. I know this happens during busy times at school but it still makes me sad. My brain is working to analyze data and write psych reports, not fiction. Not right now.

But it's right there, right under the surface. Waiting to pop. Waiting for the time, the switch, the slide into that warm creative pool.

My tulips are poking up.